| Writings |
Rae |
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But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
FUCKING HELL,
I WONDER WHAT BAD DEED I DID TO HAVE MET SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
FUCK YOU, SON OF A BITCH.
JUST SHUT THAT THAT FUCKING BIG MOUTH OF YOURS.
AND TO YOU SLUT,
I FUCKING HELL DIDNT SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT THAT.
I DONT HAVE THAT MUCH FUCKING TIME TO DO SUCH STUPID THINGS.
ASK YRSELF, AND YR FUCKING DIRTY BODY AND ROTTEN VAGINA WHY PEOPLE WILL START SUCH RUMORS.
AND WHY SO MANY PEOPLE WILL BITCH ABT YOU.
Seriously, 2 fucking people are making me fucking pissed now.
我不干心，我不服气。
难道你不能证明给我爱是天长地久的吗？
难道你感觉不出我对你的爱是真心的吗？
亲爱的Anata，
不知道你还爱不爱我，
我到底那里做错？
我要你知道，我永远爱你，
如果失去你我就和不下去了。
谁还记得是谁先说永远都爱我？
谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候？
The last person on the world to ever have any doubts in me, should be you.
Its only a few days away from the golden day.
Why must things turn out the way they are now.
Aint it always been against all odds?
You wanted to continue writing, finish up as many pages as you can.
Somehow, you spoke the cold harsh words today.
Its impossible for you to carry on,
to fill up every page there is for you to fill.
Pride, stood in our way.
You couldnt put yours down, neither could i.
Emotions flared, words like swords piercing into one another.
I've changed.
You have too.
I've had pretty interesting chapters in this book,
and this is probably the best one now.
But this ending's not better than the previous chapter.
It ended so abruptly,
it left me hanging there.
It felt me helpless.
You promised not to let me shed anymore tears for you,
yet you broke your promise.
Redited
I'm curently chewing happily on my packet of Haribo gummies!
It was a pleasant surprise when i saw the packet of gummies on the table when i reached home.
I didnt know Haribo has packet gummies,
only the rounded tube ones are sold in Singapore.
This packet is from Paris. :D
Yay, so nice.
And and and,
Harry bought me gummies today also!
It was so sweet of him.
Two wars are about to rage up in my class.
Insensitive and tactless people, cited the main reasons for the war.
Anyhow, i'm less bothered.
If your heart's not in it for real,
please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
its not fair to lead me on.
I would give the whole world for you,
anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i would not ask you to stay,
i'll just walk away if your heart's not in it.
I didnt really study much today,
Barney was just a distraction,
i kept losing to Reyes in pepsicola.
I'm weaker than Barney, i lost to her in arm wrestling.
Harry spoke words of wisdom today that really made me think about what he said.
Would you rather be a pretty girl that is no different from any other walking along Orchard Road,
or would you rather have the beauty that only is so unique and special that only the people with really good taste know how to appreciate?
My love for Harry, inevitable. :D
I had a good laugh with Mel last night over stupid mushy horny blog entries that some people pose.
Its been long since i've visited those blog entries,
and i certainly had a great time laughing at them all over again.
PS. Harry aint my boyfriend, please!
PPS. You're the ultimate jerk, your mother-fucker bitch of a girlfriend the ultimate bitch, your nabei friend the ultimate shit.
PPPS. My mama bought the RL Big Pony, the one with the number3 at the sleeve.
Its genuine, and it was a pleasant surprise. : D
I dont ask you to stay, i'll rather walk away;
Its funny how people change;
How things change;
How feelings change.
Its funny how things break;
How hearts break;
How relationships break.
Its ironic how you can both love and hate a person at the same time.
Its like one thirty in the morning now,
and here i am feeling extremely momo and randoming stupid stuffs on this dumb medium of blogging.
Todays's Sunday, then its Monday tomorrow and it means its school again.
I've just realised that i have holiday homework,
and i havent touched them.
Its funny how one can say something and mean the other;
How friends do with 'Friends Forever' and they eventually take separate paths and end up with new people every time;
How couples say 'Together Forever' and they can barely last to even a year.
Sometimes i wonder, what if we did last?
What would it be like now?
What if you werent the way you were,
how would we be like now?
Is it me, or is it them?
One by one, i saw them turn from gentle beings to monstrous beasts.
One by one, i saw how i hurt them unknowingly, that led to things turning out to be the worst of the days.
One by one, they leave me helpless on salvaging whatever there is to salvage.
Slowly, i let myself slip away.
Superman's currently playing in the background,
i'm not feeling sad that Paul's out.
Its just that he looked so sad crying.
(Who doesnt?)
I'm seriously pissed with the mother-fucker-daughter-of-a-bitch,
okay thats abit too harsh.
But can you fucking hell stop copying others.
(Honestly, i aint usually this vulgar but you're seriously pissing me off.)
Okay i'm feeling sad listening to superman,
but i dont want to change the song.
This is such a random post,
someone just spoilt my day.
The after-effects are kicking in, bit by bit.
I'm starting to feel a part of me missing.
I did a 2.4km timed run yesterday morning,
yes i've got integrity and honesty to actually go do a run instead of submitting my napfa timing to my coach.
Anyway the run felt so bad because i was seriously zonked out,
and i seriously wanted to give up at the beginning of my third round.
Without Mel beside me pacing and motivating me all the way,
i doubt i could have completed it in a twelve plus timing.
And then it was Mel and me sitting in a cosy corner and talking for a good few hours together.
It was like we talked from the afternoon, to the first sight of dusk, to the dark dark night sky.
Under the moonlight, among the palm trees and the frequent light breeze and the smell of bbq food,
the few hours were the best i had yesterday.
Okay girlfriend,
i'm sorry i love you.
Bi an nay, sarang hey.
Been lonely since the day you went away;
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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